The Gathering Place Where Family Matters

“How Do I Make Aunt Karen’s Stuffed Pepper Soup?”
This recipe will yield approximately 2 ½ quarts of soup

1 to 2 lbs of ground beef
1 quart of water with 2 beef bouillon cubes dissolved in it
1 can (28 oz) crushed tomatoes
1 can (16oz) diced tomatoes. (Lately it has been hard to find 16 oz. cans of diced tomatoes. The last time I made the soup, I used two cans of 14 oz. I liked the two full cans of diced tomatoes. But you might want to use just the amount that would total 16oz)
1 ½ cups of cooked long grain rice
2 cups (2 large or 3 medium) green peppers chopped
2 stalks chopped celery
1 medium onion chopped
¼ cup brown sugar
1 tsp salt

In large pan, cook beef with raw veggies. Drain if necessary. Stir in remaining ingredients and bring to a boil. Then reduce heat; cover and simmer for 30 to 40 minutes.

A question for your website 🙂 Thanks in advance! Our 6 yr old son has been having issues with bullies. Sometimes it is physical pushing, and other times it is emotional manipulation. He is a very social boy who wants to be everyone’s friend, and finds it difficult to say NO to friends because he […]

Here’s a question. Two of my three adult children have turned away from the Lord and it’s heartbreaking for me. They haven’t verbally expressed their lack of faith to me, but it’s quite obvious by the choices they are making. They had both accepted Jesus as Savior at very young ages and had been such strong believers when they were young right up through their teen years. One is now married to an agnostic. Aside from praying for them, which I do constantly, do you have any advice about what, if anything, I can do?

Thanks for sending this question to me. I can sense your genuine heartache. As parents who deeply love the Lord, there is no greater joy than to see our children walking with Him. That’s what John said in 3 John 4. There is no greater hurt than to see our children turning their backs on the Lord and walking deeper and deeper in the ways of the world.

I have been working with people in pastoral ministries for over four decades. It has never ceased to amaze me what children do at times. From a very ungodly home a committed believer will come who consistently walks with the Lord. On the other hand, sometimes from a very godly home a child will come who chooses to walk in the world and not after the teaching he or she has received.

Here are a couple of things to remember. First, you are not alone in this situation. At times you probably feel like no other parent has ever had this happen. Only you! But that is not true. Did you know that some very dear people in the Bible who deeply loved God and followed Him had children who did not? Some of the prime examples of this are Hezekiah and his son Manasseh (2 Kings 20:21-21:11); David and his son Absalom (2 Samuel 15); and Jehoshaphat and his son Jehoram (2 Kings 8:16-18). Even the Lord Jesus had a disciple and even large crowds who walked away from Him.

Second, I am sure you are wondering if your children could really be saved and be living like this. I believe the answer to that question is found in Hebrews 12:5-8. The writer of Hebrews is very pointed on this. He states that God’s active involvement in rearing His children proves their spiritual legitimacy. If a believer sins without repenting, God disciplines (Hebrews 12:6). If there is no evidence of God’s discipline, then we must wonder if he or she is a believer or not. We cannot set a specific limit of time, but John tells us that a genuine believer does not continue indefinitely in sin (1 John 3:6, 9). This doesn’t mean that the believer never sins; however, it does mean that the believer either confesses his or her sin or discipline ensues. As you continue to pray, the one sure way you will be able to know if your child really is a believer is by God’s proof—discipline.

Third, here are some wonderful principles that will be important for you to understand:

• The Lord knows who belong to Him (Nahum 1:7). There will be times that you may not know how to pray, but it is always a joy to remember that He knows who are His. Talk with Him about this. Ask Him if your child is genuinely saved or not.
• There are unfortunately those who pretend or assume that they are saved, who really are not (Matthew 7:21). It could be that your child is thinking back to some prayer he or she made, without remembering any details, and was not actually saved.
• While you cannot see your child’s heart, you can discern actions or fruit (Matthew 7:16). If you do not see any sensitivity to spiritual things, you may need to begin praying for his or her salvation instead of restoration.
• Be intentional, wise, and practical in your dealing with your child. Be careful not to burn your bridges. Your child already knows you love the Lord. Probably your child already knows you are disappointed with the choices he or she is making. When you desire to speak to your child about spiritual things, make sure your timing is right (1 Peter 3:15a). Ask God to help your child ask you a question that will give you the opening to answer (1 Peter 3:15b). Be careful how you answer. Make sure your words are carefully formed (1 Peter 3:15c).
• You probably know your child well enough to know what will most likely cause a discussion or argument. Hot words, nagging words, and constant preaching-type situations will not win him or her over. Ask the Lord to help your words be like “a well of life” (Proverbs 10:11) and acceptable (Proverbs 10:32).

Fourth, here are some practical ways that you might use to creatively witness to your child and share with him or her, the treasures that are in your heart:

• Select one or two people who can be fully trusted, bring them into your prayer circle and ask them to join you specifically in praying for your child. James certainly encourages this (James 5:16b).
• Ask the Lord to use situations and people that He will bring into the life of your child to reach him or her. Isn’t it amazing? When your child was young, he or she would ask you so many questions each day that sometimes it nearly drove to the brink of frustration. But now, strange as it may be, the Lord might want to use someone other than you to reach your child. Jeremiah 33:3 encourages us to “Call unto Me and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things which thou knowest not.” The Lord surely tells us to ask big. He wants to show us things that we could not have imagined.
• If you are a man, the head of the home, what would ever happen if you called a head of the home meeting? This is a time for which you and your wife really prepare ahead of time. When you get your family all together, call “A Father’s Timeout.” Tell them something like, “As I am growing older, I know I have not told you nearly as often as I should how much I love you.” Take a few minutes, and I do mean only a few minutes, to reminisce about one or two things in each child’s life. Then (make sure you have practiced and prayed about this ahead of time), take one minute to share with them how special the Lord Jesus is to you and your wife. Conclude it by saying, “We know how wonderful it is to belong to the Lord Jesus. We want you to know Him as well. Later, won’t you talk to me about your spiritual journey?” If they don’t within a reasonable time, you can approach them with, “May I talk with you for a moment about your spiritual journey?”
• If you are a mom, think about creating a “Mother’s Journal.” Think back over some of the very special times in that child’s life. Include any pictures of Vacation Bible School, Sunday school, Easter and Christmas programs, as well as fun things like vacation or end of school programs. Write about special things he or she may have forgotten. Make it a keepsake. Speak about the Lord and share things that will be meaningful that the Lord can use to reach the heart of your child.
• Have you ever thought of preparing a mini-DVD where you would actually talk with your child and share how special he or she is to you? Make it light and enjoyable. Share with your child about the spiritual heritage of your family (if he or she is a believer.) Tell your child of your conversion to the Lord Jesus. Briefly share with your child how one can know the Lord and why it is important.
• Friend them on Facebook and send a private message once in a while. Briefly share with your child what you are reading in your devotions, what you learned in church last week, or how the Lord has blessed you. Don’t write only about these things, but do not hesitate to write about them either.
• When was the last time you wrote your child a letter? Maybe it is time to consider it! Don’t become overbearing. Let your love and honesty come through. Tell your child what is on your heart. Sometimes children, in the quietness, will pull their letters back out and read it over and over again. Don’t rule out using this effective tool.

Your prayers for your child will go a lot farther than your nagging. May the Lord give you wisdom and direction in being a witness and a testimony to your child.

Q: Hi Pastor Peck! I have a couple of questions for you…I am curious as to what your thoughts are about the “age of accountability” and how we can know when our children are old and wise enough to need to be saved. I do not remember anything about this in the Bible and am concerned because I have 2 young children. Our just turned 4 year old talks about God and Jesus dying on the cross…sometimes he seems to understand, but sometimes he doesn’t seem to get it at all. Do young children who are not saved still go to Heaven? And what about mentally handicapped individuals? Thanks!

A: Thanks for your question. There are several important topics wrapped up in this question.

First, in our zeal and desire for our children to come to faith in Christ, we need to ask the Lord for lots of wisdom and discernment to know when they are really ready to ask Jesus to be their Savior. On one hand, we want to be faithful in sharing the gospel. On the other hand, we must never push them before they really are ready.

Second, what does the “age of accountability” mean? If you search for this phrase on your electronic Bible study, you will not find it. One of the places in Scripture that does reveal this principle in operation is Numbers 14: 29. The children of Israel rebelled at Kadesh Barnea. They rebelled against the Lord and wouldn’t be allowed to enter the land. God said that those who were twenty and over would wander for forty years in the wilderness. He actually was saying that those who were under twenty would not be held accountable for the sins of their parents and elders. This “age of accountability” seems to indicate a moral awareness that makes one responsible for responding to the following things:

• · Who God is
• · What sin is
• · How God views my sin
• · Why Jesus shed His blood, what that means, how He died, and rose again for me
• · Why I must be sorry for my sin and ask the Lord Jesus to come into my life to be my Savior

Please do not think that the age of accountability for a child’s salvation is twenty. That was a totally different situation with the children of Israel in the wilderness.

Third, I absolutely do believe that adults who are mentally incapacitated as well as children who die before reaching an age of personal accountability go Home to be with the Lord. I believe heartbroken mommies and daddies who love the Lord will one day be reunited with their child. Their youngster might not be an infant in Heaven, but there will nonetheless be a great reunion ahead.

While the Bible does not use the actual term “age of accountability,” there are some things that we can unequivocally see from the Scriptures.

• · It is important to remember that babies are born sinners because of their participation in Adam’s sin (Psalm 51:5; Romans 5:12). Even though I have stated that I absolutely believe infants go home to be with the Lord when they die, this does not mean that I believe infants are born righteous. They are not.

• · In the death of the Lord Jesus, His supreme sacrifice covers infants who die before they reach an age where they understand the gospel. The Scriptures speak of the Lord’s death for us all (Hebrews 2:9; 1 John 2:2; John 1:29). This certainly does not mean that everyone is saved. It does, however, indicate that His death is sufficient to cover those who are unable to respond to the demands of the gospel.

• · People are condemned because of their own sin. Though born a sinner because of participating in Adam’s sin, no one goes to Hell because of Adam’s sin. Sinners are condemned because they have not responded to the gracious offer of salvation (John 1:12).

• · People are without excuse because they have rejected the general revelation of God (Romans 1:18-20) and are old enough to understand the moral ramifications to “All have sinned and come short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). Those who reach an accountable age understand what the consequences of sin are (Romans 6:23) and the tremendous opportunity of placing their faith in Christ‘s death, the shedding of His blood, and His resurrection (1 Corinthians 15: 1-5). When a person can comprehend this (and I do believe young children, if properly trained, can make a decision for Christ) and when that person greatly desires to receive the Lord into his or her life (John 1:12), then that person can be held accountable for sin. Before this, it seems to me, that infants as well as mentally handicapped people are unable to make these decisions which would result in their lack of personal accountability.

• · I firmly believe that our incredibly awesome Lord, who is the author of our salvation, acting in perfect conformity to His nature and plan (Genesis 18:25), makes provision for these who are incapable of personal decision either because of age or ability, and welcomes them home at their deaths. They wait for us who are redeemed.

Stay diligent in praying, teaching, witnessing to, and encouraging your very young children. Read God’s Word to them. Instill Biblical principles in them. Watch for opportunities that will allow you to share with your children what the Lord Jesus has done for them. But trust the Lord with each child. Know that the Lord loves your child more than you can ever.

Salvation is such a wonderful gift from the Lord, bought by His precious death and resurrection. How wonderful it is when our child is old enough to understand that this is the act of accepting His gift.

When our little son died, the Scripture David wrote as he speaks of the death of his son took on special meaning. David said, “Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me” (2 Samuel 12:23.) I realize some teach that this is just David saying that his child has died and someday so shall he. But I think there is more here than a simple statement of the universality of death. David found comfort in the fact that he would go to his child someday. Hundreds of parents who experience the death of a child also find great comfort in the fact that because of salvation, we are going to Heaven. If David knew his child would be with him, and he would be with the Lord forever, then David was stating that he and his child would be together forever with the Lord. That, friends, works for me!

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