Thanks for stopping by “Karen’s Notes.”
This is Volume 7 Number 9 and is # 305 of her published Notes.

If you have a friend who is hurting or going through a hard time, then these few
practical thoughts are just for you. Today’s edition is entitled
“If You Really Want to be Helpful!”

February 28th, 2024

Throughout her adult life, Karen served in the ministry with me for thirty-one years as pastor and wife in New York State. Then in 2001 Karen and I were commissioned by the Central Baptist Church of Binghamton, New York, as we left the pastorate to join the Baptist Church Planters’ ministry. Together we continued serving multiple local churches and our wonderful missionary family.

Karen knew firsthand the joys of life as well as the heartaches and challenges. She was there serving and reaching out to those who were hurting, frightened, lonely, abandoned, and grieving. She herself experienced deep disappointments and sorrows that came into our home because of our own miscarriages and then with the death of our sons Jeffrey and Billy. She knew the struggles of raising children from four different sibling groups and helping them blend into one family!

She knew firsthand those who would be great to have nearby in an emergency and those who wouldn’t be as great! Today let’s read of the heartache and tragedy that Job experienced and the friends who came!

Let me share several verses and then something that Karen wrote as she prepared a ladies’ conference worksheet. It’s great for me as well.

“Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this evil that was come upon him, they came everyone from his own place; Eliphaz the Temanite, and Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite: for they had made an appointment together to come to mourn with him and to comfort him. So they sat down with him upon the ground seven days and seven nights, and none spoke a word unto him: for they saw that his grief was great” (Job 2:11, 13).

In her conference notes Karen wrote: When someone is hurting, be an encourager. For those who have never ministered to someone going through “deep waters,” let me suggest some things NOT to do.

1. Don’t say, “I know how you feel” unless you’ve really been there.
2. Don’t ask nosy questions just to satisfy your curiosity.
3. Don’t stay for long periods of time unless you really sense God’s leading to do so.
4. Don’t do all the talking. Learn to listen.
5. Don’t give advice unless you are asked.

Let me send you on your way with this: You will notice that she got right to the point very quickly in her seminar. This is good for ladies and men as we reach out to hurting people. To be honest, Job’s friends did their best comforting when they were silent. It went downhill quickly when they opened their mouths with things that either weren’t true or weren’t necessarily helpful. You have family and friends who need your encouragement and comfort. Just be thinking about what Karen wrote and I shared with you today.