“It Was a Battle for the Ages! The Monster of Aisle 9 and Me!”
An Update for May 5th, 2016

It was a full force assault! Aisle 9 Struck on a four lane highway. It wasn’t a pretty sight friends! Let me explain. For those who have been on the journey with us you will remember that Karen has somewhat reluctantly allowed me to write her story in my updates on the condition that occasionally I write something humorous or a little on the lighter side.

Hence the post for today.

It happened yesterday on the way home from my doctor’s visit in Sheffield. As you might remember, a year ago Karen was far too sick to even go to the grocery store. The manager loved it when I came because I am not a strategic shopper. I always spent more than Karen spent on groceries! Instead of the list of sales and the necessary items in the order in which they would be waiting for me, I am more of a “Zig-zag Hit the Same Aisle Again” kind of shopper. By the time I have circled the store three times, been run into by the same elderly lady twice, and hit every aisle two or three times in no chronological order, finally I would arrive at Aisle 9! There donuts were waiting! I’d step into the aisle and immediately the bakery case lights would flash. A subliminal message played every five seconds. On the outside the handwritten note simply said “Donuts! Fresh baked this morning.” But what people didn’t understand is that there was a subliminal message. When you unscrambled the letters and rewrote them, it simply spelled “M-I-C-H-A-E-L!” I’d fight. I’d hang onto the handle of the shopping cart. But there was a monster that lurked. That dreaded Monster of Aisle 9 has brought laughs around the world.

Nope! Karen doesn’t let me in the store anymore.

But what she didn’t anticipate is that the Monster in Aisle 9 sometimes momentarily strikes away from the expected places. Here I was putting along obeying the speed limit and in everybody’s way that zoomed past me giving me nasty looks. Without notice or warning my car started veering to the right while automatically braking. I hit the wheel. I coaxed it along. I shouted no. I fought hard. But suddenly I was in the drive thru lane in the parking lot of Dunkin Donuts. Before I knew it I only said “Hi” to the little voice that came out of nowhere in the sign and suddenly a box of Dunkin Munchkins were forced onto me. I’ve read of Moses’ brother Aaron who when asked what he had done replied, “I just threw the gold in the fire and out came the idol.” That answer never flew, did it? Probably you aren’t buying me simply saying “Hi” to the voice and a box of donut holes appearing either, are you?

Well at least I was telling you the truth that I was going the speed limit and was in everybody’s way! This is also truthful. Thank you so much for your continued prayers. God has blessed us in wonderful ways. We do not deserve it. However, we are wrapping His faithfulness and your friendship around us like a gigantic blanket that warms our soul and blesses our lives. The Lord loves you and so do we.

By the way, Karen didn’t like the few that were jelly filled. So being the good husband, I took good care of my wife and ate those to protect her!